Michael J. Carter
COACH
One
He said the Italian horn charm
that Carrie wore was a sign
of the devil. He refused
to let his son play D&D
with us because it was a form
of Satanic worship. But, that
did not stop him
from sticking his hands
down the backs
of our swimming suits
and pulling us
onto his lap.
Two
With a look
of disappointment
he said
you’ve finally
lost all your
baby fat.
Two, Version Two
He said, you’ve lost
your baby fat.
For years, I told
this story with
the punchline:
But I never had
any real baby fat.
Because I wanted
him to be mistaken
to have not seen me
but that’s not
what he wanted.
He meant to hurt me.
He meant to say,
you are no longer
attractive to me,
you are too old
for me to see you.
Three
We adored and worshipped
and followed him.
And when we were thirteen
something changed. We
developed a pact: if any of us
were alone with him
one of the others
would step in
intercede like a saint,
our prayers answered.
We would sacrifice anything
for him, put ourselves
on the line. We knew
just what to do.
Four
When I asked my mom
if she saw, and if she did,
why didn’t she step in.
She said, Well, what
do you say in that situation?
What was I supposed
to say?
Answering both of my questions.