Sarah Browning
THE SILENCE POUNDING INSIDE YOU
They said nothing
of your body busting
loose, the rattling along
your meridians, the rusted
blood, what a girl shaking
with desire might feel.
Did girls shake with desire?
You wouldn’t know growing
into yourself in that house
those women who did not
speak of it, only of Boys
who only want one thing.
You want that thing
though it’s locked inside
you by shame’s padlock
though years will pass
before you’ll even recognize,
sober, the ratchet pounding
in you. That one time
alone – fully clothed curled
on the bed, sun a lover
that heated you – you pulled
a pillow between your legs.
After a few breathless
minutes you had no words for,
you thought it was god
coursing through you. It was.
It was god speaking at last,
speaking through you.