Jaylani Loveday
MERINGUE
in tears from the outset. a waste of space
a failure. a defective daughter, impatient
and unkind. why does my mother
bring about the very worst version of me
– what are you noticing?
body light airy insubstantial. a thin
energetic membrane surrounding me
like undercooked meringue. fragile
ready to let all the filling spill. a mess
– what would you like to say to the mess?
get your fucking shit together
figure out what is yours to claim
responsibility for. what is theirs
stop being such a fucking victim
– what if none of it is your fault?
peering into the upper branches
of the family tree. that lineage of damage
that familial noose. gorgeous and strange
this relief. this jettison of blame
– what if none of it is anyone’s fault?
a dove hidden in a magician’s hat
pulled out of the dark. flapping wildly
against its trappings. breaking free
up and out. into the cyan sky